What's Left of Me
by E. Limberg
Summary: Sequel to This is How a Heart Breaks and Ever the Same. Season three rumors. Stella wakes up next to Mac. Later he proposes quite romantically, or for him at least.


**What's Left of Me**

"_Watch my life  
Pass me by  
In the rear view mirror  
Pictures frozen in time  
Are becoming clearer  
I don't wanna waste another day  
Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes  
Yeah..."  
_

Mac turns in the bed, hoping not to wake the sleeping figure beside him. He watches her sleep, careful not to wake her as he strokes the skin of her stomach where her sweater had risen up above the waist of her pants. Brushing strands of curls off her face, he continues to watch her sleep peacefully and moves closer to her. As Mac wraps his arms around her, Stella stirs, cuddling up to his warm body, face buried in his shoulder. With him rubbing her back, she easily slides back to sleep. Mac drifts back in and out of sleep for the next two hours until he opens his eyes to see Stella watching him.

"Sleep well?" he asks, voice hoarse from sleep.

She nods, smiling, "You?"

"Okay. I couldn't stop watching you earlier. You looked so beautiful, like an angel," he explains, causing her to blush.

"When you sleep, you look more like the old Mac. I keep seeing little pieces of him coming back each day, and I hope he comes back soon."

"What's wrong with the new Mac?" Mac questions.

"He is way too stressed out and obsessed with work. And less sociable, not that the old Mac was. We aren't as close as we were five years ago when Claire was still here. We should probably get up," she suggests, a hint of a smile on her lips.

"Do you have any waffle mix?" Mac asks suddenly.

"No, I don't think I do."

"Then we'll go out to breakfast and have waffles."

"Really, Mac, you don't have to take me out. Whatever I have here is fine," she assures.

"You just don't want to get up," he teases, poking her side.

"So. Go away and let me sleep."

"If I remember correctly, you were the one already awake when I woke up," Mac informs her.

"Yeah, well you try sleeping when you've got someone leaning on your stomach, right where you were cut by some jealous maniac. It hurts," Stella sticks her tongue out immaturely.

"Put that back in your mouth before I bite it off," he threatens, giving her a quick kiss.

_  
"Cause I want you,  
And I feel you,  
Crawling underneath my skin  
Like a hunger,  
Like a burning,  
To find a place I've never been  
Now I'm broken,  
And I'm faded,  
I'm half the man I thought I would be:  
But you can have what's left of me"  
_

"Good morning, Mac. Who did you bring with you?" a waitress asks as she approaches.

They were seated at one of Mac's favorite breakfast diners where he stopped at for coffee on the way to work often. "This is my best friend and partner, Stella," he introduces, "Stella, this is Kelly."

"Nice to meet you," Kelly says, sticking out her hand.

Stella shakes it. "You too."

"What would you two like this morning?"

"Two coffees, black, two plates of the waffles, and a side of bacon. Anything else, Stel?" Mac looks over to her.

"Nope."

"I'll be right out with your coffees," Kelly walks away.

"I see you forgot to mention the girlfriend part," Stella remarks.

"What?"

"When you were introducing me."

"Well I didn't want all the other women to be jealous of you because you have such a handsome boyfriend," Mac says, succeeding in keeping a perfectly straight face.

"You're something else, Mac. How did we ever become friends?" she laughs as the waitress brings their coffee.

"I believe we became friends when I ran into you with my cup of coffee, and it spilt all over you on the day of your interveiw," he smiles. "I'm still sorry about that."

"You didn't give me the job for that did you?"

"Of course not. You seemed qualified for the job. Food's here," he says.

"Enjoy," Kelly says, setting the plates in front of them.

Stella takes a bite of her waffles after putting butter and syrup on them. "These are really good."

"Told you they were."

_  
"I've been dying inside,  
Little by little,  
No where to go,  
But going out of my mind  
In endless circles,  
Running from my self until,  
You gave me a reason for standing still"  
_

Stella sat under their tree in Central Park after work as the note he left in her office mysteriously had instructed. She was a little early, but Mac showed up right on time at six-thirty.

"A picnic in Central Park?" she asks, noticing the blanket and picnic basket in his hands.

"Yes, why?"

"Your note said a romantic dinner," she comments, holding it up.

"What, you don't think a picnic in the park is romantic?" he smiles.

"I'll have to give you some lessons in romance," she mutters.

"I'll gladly take you out to someplace you call romantic if you'd prefer that over my picnic," Mac offers.

"No, I'm fine here," Stella smiles up at him.

He puts the blanket down flat beside her and sits himself down next to her as she moves onto it.

They eat their picnic in a comfortable silence, enjoying each others' company in the quiet, peaceful park. As the evening sky loses the last of the sunlight, Mac and Stella stroll around, finding a little play area for kids, abandoned because of the time.

"Come on," Mac says as he climbs up to the top level of the jungle gym overlooking a field where kids often played ball.

As Stella moves to the top next to him, she gasps at the sight below her on the field. 'Will you marry me?' was written in luminaries, the words lighting up the field. "Mac…" she whispers.

"Stella," Mac begins, and when she looks over at him, he is down on one knee. "Will you marry me?" he holds a ring out to her.

"_Cause I want you,  
And I feel you,  
Crawling underneath my skin  
Like a hunger,  
Like a burning,  
To find a place I've never been  
Now I'm broken,  
And I'm faded,  
I'm half the man I thought I would be:  
But you can have what's left of me"  
_

"Mac, I… I don't know what to say," Stella answers. A wave of emotions had hit her when he asked, the strongest being love, but she still had worries.

"Most people say yes or no," he offers, trying to help her. "They do what their heart tells them."

"I really want to say yes, Mac, I do. But I can't give you my whole heart. I… that day in April, Frankie broke my heart, shattered it to pieces because of what he did to me. When he went, I think he took a few of the pieces with him. My heart will just never be whole again because of that – that SOB. If you're okay with not having my whole heart, I'll gladly give you what's left of it," Stella gives Mac a small smile.

"I don't care if you're missing a few pieces of your heart, Stel. I love you and want to be with you. That doesn't matter to me because I've got the rest. To be honest with you, I can't give you all my heart either. Part of that will always be for Claire, but the rest, the majority of it, belongs to you," he explains, taking her hand, still down on his knee.

"I love you too, Mac. As much as I want to be over him, I can't let him totally go. I still dream about him; sometimes I see him in the shadows. Claire was the love of your life, Mac; I don't want you to forget her. I… if you're okay with all this, I am too," she pauses.

"I am okay with this, Stella."

"Then, yes, Mac, I will marry you," Stella smiles. Mac slides the ring onto her finger before hugging her tightly. "One more thing: How did you do all this?" she asks curiously.

"With the help of some friends," he looks over the banister, her following his gaze, and finds the other four CSIs waving up at them, shouting their congratulations.

Mac pulls out a digital camera and snaps a shot of the luminaries. He kisses her, snapping a picture of them.

"Mac," Stella whispers, parting her lips from his, "I really don't want our first time to be in Central Park."

_  
"It's falling faster,  
Barely breathing,  
Give me something,  
To believe in  
Tell me: It's not all in my head  
Take what's left  
Of this man  
Make me whole  
Once again"  
_

"Stella," Peyton pokes her head in the door, "thanks for not pressing charges. I'm… sorry about this whole thing, fighting over Mac. This might sound a little odd, but I'm happy for you two."

"Thanks, Peyton. I'm sorry about the whole fight too. Friends?" Stella holds out her hand.

"Is that what I think it is? He did not. We dated for a year, and he never proposed, but he goes out with you for three weeks, and you're already engaged," Peyton says angrily. "I have to go talk to him."

"See you later, I guess," Stella says quietly, Peyton already gone.

A message pops up on her computer screen from Mac. 'Are you busy?'

'No,' she replies, 'but Peyton's heading your way. She's mad about the ring.'

'Too bad for her. I'll meet you in an interrogation room in five minutes,' Mac writes back.

'What for? There're no cases, therefore no one to question,' she smiles to herself.

'I miss you. And we'll probably end up doing something that is inappropriate at work, but oh well. No one will catch us. I love you,' he writes.

'What's gotten into you, Mac? You're going to break a rule at work.'

'Whoa, Peyton walks really slowly if she's just now getting to my office. See you in five minutes,' Mac replies.

'Can't wait,' Stella types before exiting out of her programs. She puts her suit jacket on the back of her chair before heading to interrogation to wait for Mac. As promised, he arrives five minutes later, sneaking up to hug her from behind. Mac kisses her neck, slowly trailing across the bare part of her shoulder before pushing her against the wall. She unbuttons his shirt swiftly while he kisses her, tongue meeting hers.

As a knock on the door sounds, they spring apart. "Taylor, Bonasera, my office. Now!"

_  
"Cause I want you,  
And I feel you,  
Crawling underneath my skin  
Like a hunger,  
Like a burning,  
To find a place I've never been  
Now I'm broken,  
And I'm faded,  
I'm half the man I thought I would be:  
But you can have what's left of me"  
_

"What was that?" the police chief asks, settling into his chair. Mac and Stella sit opposite him.

"What was what?" Mac asks innocently.

"Don't get smart with me, Taylor. What were you two doing in interrogation?"

"Kissing," Stella says simply.

"It looked like more than that," he retorts.

"Making out," Mac answers.

"Don't forget undressing each other."

"You obviously saw the whole thing; why are you asking us?" Stella says angrily.

"I can't have that in my lab."

"So… what're you going to do?" she counters.

"I'm letting you two off for now. But if I see it again, I might not be so nice."

They leave quickly and run into Hawkes. "What was that about?"

"His idea," Stella points to Mac.

"Wait until the rest of the lab finds out you two got in trouble for making out in interrogation," Hawkes calls, running to spread the news.

"How'd he know?" Mac asks, looking quizzically after him.

"He's too smart for his own good, Mac," she shakes her head.

**---CSI:NY---**

Mac comes home to find the lights on in his kitchen and living room, but no Stella. Thinking she might be laying down, he goes into his bedroom. She's not there either, but for some reason the bathroom door was closed. He enters the bathroom and finds her asleep in the bathtub. Mac sticks two fingers in the water and discovers it freezing cold. Looking towards Stella's shoulders, the only part showing in the bubbles besides her head, he sees goose bumps. Before waking her up, Mac takes her towel to the dryer to warm it up so she isn't so cold. Five minutes later he walks back to the bathroom with the towel, now fairly warm.

"Stel," he whispers softly in her ear before kissing her temple. "Wake up."

Her eyes open slowly, "What're you doing here?"

"I live here."

"You're home early. I had two hours to waist until you got home. There's not way I was asleep that long; I was going to start dinner," she says, standing up to take the towel from him. "Why's it so warm?"

"I put it in the dryer, silly. And judging by the temperature of that water, you were in there for a while. Don't worry about dinner; I'm not that hungry. How 'bout you?" he asks, watching her dry off.

"Not really. Stop staring at me, Mac Taylor," Stella says, flashing him a playful smile as she reaches out to hit him lightly.

He grabs her hand and kisses her knuckles. "But you're so beautiful, Stella. I can't help but stare. Why don't I make something simple?"

"Hotdogs?" Stella suggests, taking back her hand.

"You can't eat a hotdog unless it's a Chicago hotdog," Mac says, smiling.

"You ate one at the dog show. If I remember right, you also had to pay me ten bucks in our little bet," she grins as he rolls his eyes.

"Twenty years from now you'll still make me remember that. How about ice cream sundaes?" he suggests as she wraps the towel around herself.

"That's real healthy, Mac," she smirks, "and I'm already freezing cold."

Mac pouts, "It's not like you're on a diet. And even if you were, you're skinny enough. I'd force you to eat the ice cream."

Stella puts on a thinking face, "I don't know if I should just give in or make you force me to eat the ice cream," she smiles.

"You're cleaning my apartment if you make me force you to eat it," he gives her a stern look.

"Fine, I'll eat it."

"Aha, I found the one thing Stella Bonasera can't resist."

"You just now figured that out? I knew yours a long time ago," she kisses his cheek as she leaves the bathroom.

"What would that be?" he follows her curiously, not sure of what she'll say.

"Me," she grins. "What is your guess? What can't I resist?"

"Ice cream," Mac declares, happy for himself for finally being able to understand her.

"No, but it's a close second."

"What?"

"Just go make the sundaes," she laughs, putting on her pajamas.

"Big enough bowl for you, Mac?" she asks, wandering into the kitchen a few minutes later.

"It's for both of us. Anything you don't like on your ice cream?"

"I grew up in an orphanage. I'm not very picky," she hugs him.

He turns around in her arms and watches her, thinking of how he can't wait until she's his wife. "I want a family, Stella. I want to have kids."

"Kind of off topic, don't you think?"

"I want to have kids now, with you."

"I hate to break it to you, but I'm on birth control. And I want a family too. But I'd kind of like to wait until closer to our wedding so I'm not like five months pregnant when we get married. We still haven't set a date."

"Let's elope," Mac whispers.

"Not now. If you really want to, maybe in a couple months. And if you're really desperate for kids, we can always adopt," Stella suggests, smiling faintly.

"I'll take what I can get," he leans in and kisses her softly before leading her to the bedroom with the ice cream.

_  
"I've been dying inside you see  
I'm going out of my mind  
Out of my mind  
I'm just running in circles all the time  
Will you take what's left  
Will you take what's left  
Will you take what's left of me?  
Just running in circles in my mind  
Will you take what's left  
Will you take what's left  
Will you take what's left of me?"_

**A/N: "What's Left of Me" Nick Lachey. Sorry I didn't get this up before Wednesday. I really wanted to. This story is also not beta'd. I'll end this here and let you imagine what they do in the bedroom with the ice cream. Let's see… I should have another story started soon. I've got most of it written and hopefully will have time to start typing it this week. Then I've got a couple more ideas I haven't started yet. I've had some requests for a sequel to Silly Games. If anyone has ideas for games for this, I'd appreciate the help. Thanks for reading. I love reviews!**


End file.
